How Do I Get It All Done?

“I don’t know how you manage on your own,” is a statement I often hear from married friends. Even with a helpful husband around raising kids and taking care of a home is hard work.

So how do I get it all done?

The answer is: I don’t. I really don’t get it all done. My house is an array of half completed projects. The stairwell still needs to be painted. I have new sinks to install in both bathrooms and then I’ll tackle the new floors that are needed. The basement has become a makeshift baby store as I pile up the items being given to me in case I get a baby. (Even if I do, I’m planning to ship a bunch of stuff to my sister – who is expecting – as soon as she and her husband find a new house.) There is clean laundry abounding around the bedrooms. Most days I can manage to get it down to the basement, washed,and brought back up. By that point it’s bedtime and I leave if for another day which comes around eventually.

One of the highlights of my recent childfree trip to California was staying in a tidy, uncluttered apartment. It did me good to remember one day the mess will be over. My kids will grow up. Toys won’t always litter the hallways. Dirty socks won’t appear in the most unlikely places forever. This is just a season I’m in.

Sometimes it’s hard to appreciate the season. Despite the state of my house, I do have standards and expectations that I find myself continually falling short of. I’m not a perfectionist but enjoy a sense of decorum and order. Since I started homeschooling that has become impossible. The only time I don’t have a child or children underfoot is when they’re in bed. By that time I’m so depleted I do fun things like blogging or watching British crime dramas.

Most days I feel like I don’t get much of anything done at all. I mange to put three meals of some nutritional value on the table each day. I keep the kids relatively clean – though that’s becoming more difficult with the onset of good weather. My children are drawn to dirt and mud like a magnet. On short notice I can throw together a decent family dinner when my siblings come by to visit. But don’t check the top of the china cabinet. Apparently, it hasn’t been dusted in quite some time.

This week, aside from completing my first official catering job, my greatest accomplishment was mowing the grass. My pictures don’t do it justice. The place was turning into a jungle. Now when I look out my back patio door, there’s a sense of accomplishment. It’s small, but I’ll take it.

in the midst of mowing

in the midst of mowing

Feels Like Home to Me

Chantal Kreviazuk‘s song Feels Like Home has been playing in my mind since I got back late Friday evening. My girls were already asleep. I might have woken them up just to say, “I’m home and I love you.” Athena grabbed my face and didn’t want to let go.

Neither really remembered the next morning when they woke horribly early to greet me. “You’re never going anywhere ever again,” Athena announced, latching on to me.

Raine was less verbally expressive, but clearly happy to have me home.

It was a challenge for all of us – probably more so for my friend staying with the kids. “I don’t know how you get anything done,” she said on more than one occasion. Finding time for her work-from-home contracts didn’t come easily.

Some days I don’t get anything done – like today when my most concrete accomplishment is this blog. Yesterday, however, I found myself doing 3 loads of laundry, roasting 3 pounds of coffee, making 3 batches of muffins (for an event I’m catering this week). Unintentionally it was a day of 3s yesterday. All the while I found myself singing:

Somethin’ in your eyes, makes me wanna lose myself
Makes me wanna lose myself, in your arms
There’s somethin’ in your voice, makes my heart beat fast
Hope this feeling lasts, the rest of my life

If you knew how lonely my life has been
And how long I’ve been so alone
And if you knew how I wanted someone to come along
And change my life the way you’ve done

It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I come from
It feels like home to me, it feels like home to me
It feels like I’m all the way back where I belong…

So happy to be back where I belong!

a rare moment of sisterly love captured by my friend while I was gone

a rare moment of sisterly love captured by my friend while I was gone

On My Way

Last night I couldn’t sleep. My mind raced with everything yet to be done.

sipping coffee from my California mug (a gift from a friend after her recent trip)

sipping coffee from my California mug (a gift from a friend after her recent trip)

This morning I woke frightfully early, pulled myself out of bed and got to work. At 11am I leave for 6 days in California. Since becoming a mom my trips have been brief – I’ve not been away from my kids for more than a weekend – and primarily within Canada.

I’m excited to be going somewhere completely new. California has always been on my list of places to visit. A lover of old movies, many times I’ve watched characters drive along the coast and long to do the same. My reason for being in California relates to prayer training. The city I’m headed to is very far from the coast. But hopefully we can fit that in at

my favourite tulips grown along side Queen of the Night black tulips. A stunning pair.

my favourite tulips grown along side Queen of the Night black tulips. A stunning pair.

some point.

My bags are packed. I used to bring an excessive amount of reading material with me whenever I travelled. This time it’s electronics. A GPS, tablet, laptop with exterior fan (since it keeps overheating), and a cellphone are all coming with me. The book I recently began reading is not. It’s a frail paperback printed in the 1960’s not up for the trip. I’m combing through my vast supply of well-loved novels looking for something else to bring. Despite all the technology, I still like a story before bed. And there’s nothing comparable to the look and feel of an actual book.

Some tulips have burst forth to bid me farewell. My daughter, Raine, is

a burst of purple to herald the soon coming lilacs

a burst of purple to herald the soon coming lilacs

ever so excited. “You’re not missing it all,” she shouts when we pass by blossoming tress or the tulips show a bit of colour in the mass of green.

There are a great deal of things being left undone, like weeding the garden. But there are limited hours in the day. Knowing that I’m going, my girls have been quite out of sorts and, therefore, demanding my full attention.

I won’t have any fun stories to share about them this week. But watch for a guest post from my friend who is staying with them. That’s sure to be entertaining. She has a knack for catching the comedy of the situation. Too often I get caught up in the details, like getting dinner on the table or another load of laundry put away.

Well, the children are starting to stir. I still need to print my boarding pass among other things. See you tomorrow in California!

Packing My Bags

This Saturday I’m heading to California for 6 days. It’s the longest I’ve ever been away from my girls. Even when they were foster children and I was entitled to 3wks vacation time, I never left them for more than a couple of days.

I’m feeling nervous, but the time away will do me good. A friend and I are traveling to get some further training in a prayer ministry we’re part of at church. It’ll be fun. I keep saying that, but I’m not quite sure.

I worry about being away for so long. My friend is coming to stay with Raine and Athena. They know and love her. It should be fine. IMG_20140514_202806

We’ll see……I need to get packing. I’m being cheered on by daffodils we picked from the garden today. Since becoming a mom, I’ve turned into quite the homebody. Maybe I already was to a certain degree. But in the past I would have jumped at the chance to travel to California. Now I’d rather stay home and watch my tulips bloom. Spring has been really late here and thus far daffodils are all I have.

I’m hoping to have time to blog while away, but don’t worry if you don’t hear from me daily. Think of me having fun – childfree with a great friend in the amazing state of California!

 

Yesterday Was Plain Awful

Yesterday was plain awful. You can say that again. Yesterday was plain awful.
from the movie Annie

I don’t know what the reason was – maybe the chocolate fondue I served for dinner the night before, maybe the aftermath of Mother’s Day. Whatever the reason, yesterday was plain awful.
There was a new display of paint chips at Canadian Tire. Trying to incorporate colourslearning into every day, I had the kids pick a number and letter. Raine miscalculated. The colour matching her co-ordinates was not what she wanted. She lost it.
For whatever reason, I didn’t have the necessary patience to calm her down. I tried, then gave up. “We’re leaving,” I announced, picking up Athena.
This made it all so much worse. Raine began chasing us through the store with my abandoned shopping cart. “You can’t leave!” she shouted with venom.

It didn’t get much better when we got out of the store. For whatever reason, my patience wore thin. I didn’t respond with kindness or grace. It was plain awful.
Eventually we both pulled ourselves together. At the end of the day, when it was time to list what she’s grateful for, Raine said, “I have a mom who always loves me!”

“How do you know I love you?” was my question.

“Because of all the things you do and say,” she answered. “Really because of the spoon.”

A few months after the adoption was finalized in court, we had a private dedication and party at our home. I gave each of the girls an antique silver spoon engraved with their initials. At first Raine wasn’t too impressed. But it’s become a symbol of my love for her.

There are moments when I feel like I’m doing everything right. Then there are moments when I’m fully aware that I’m failing. Yesterday was compiled of many failures. But I am immensely grateful that a bumpy day doesn’t shake the foundation of love established in Raine.

Yesterday was plain awful. But that’s not now. That’s then.

from the movie Annie