Yesterday was plain awful. You can say that again. Yesterday was plain awful.
from the movie Annie

I don’t know what the reason was – maybe the chocolate fondue I served for dinner the night before, maybe the aftermath of Mother’s Day. Whatever the reason, yesterday was plain awful.
There was a new display of paint chips at Canadian Tire. Trying to incorporate learning into every day, I had the kids pick a number and letter. Raine miscalculated. The colour matching her co-ordinates was not what she wanted. She lost it.
For whatever reason, I didn’t have the necessary patience to calm her down. I tried, then gave up. “We’re leaving,” I announced, picking up Athena.
This made it all so much worse. Raine began chasing us through the store with my abandoned shopping cart. “You can’t leave!” she shouted with venom.

It didn’t get much better when we got out of the store. For whatever reason, my patience wore thin. I didn’t respond with kindness or grace. It was plain awful.
Eventually we both pulled ourselves together. At the end of the day, when it was time to list what she’s grateful for, Raine said, “I have a mom who always loves me!”

“How do you know I love you?” was my question.

“Because of all the things you do and say,” she answered. “Really because of the spoon.”

A few months after the adoption was finalized in court, we had a private dedication and party at our home. I gave each of the girls an antique silver spoon engraved with their initials. At first Raine wasn’t too impressed. But it’s become a symbol of my love for her.

There are moments when I feel like I’m doing everything right. Then there are moments when I’m fully aware that I’m failing. Yesterday was compiled of many failures. But I am immensely grateful that a bumpy day doesn’t shake the foundation of love established in Raine.

Yesterday was plain awful. But that’s not now. That’s then.

from the movie Annie