In a sea of impossibility, I’m looking for land. Literally. This time six years ago, I was on a hunt for my first home. Up until then, I’d rented a serious of houses and apartments in a variety of places. By some miracle, I could buy. I had a teen foster child and dreams of adopting. Instinctively, I was drawn to tiny homes because I thought it was all I could possibly hope for. Despite what God was doing, my faith remained small. In the end, I got a very large four bedroom, two story house with a partially finished basement. The bedrooms are massive. In one we’ve had 3 beds, a tv watching area, Lego table, and about 5 bookcases without it feeling a bit cramped. Since acquiring the house, the teen has moved on and I’ve ended up with four children that will be with me forever.

I expected this to be our home until my children were well into adulthood. Moving didn’t cross my mind. Then this year dawned. As we added the fourth child, it became apparent that the house isn’t ideal. Due to their various needs, the space is turning out to be much too big. I rearranged repeatedly. Diligently, I attempted to reorder our lives in search of a system that will bring peace and balance.

It’s become impossible. And with four young children, what I want and need is community. Since I began fostering, that’s manifested in a variety of forms. With the arrival of my daughters, Raine and Athena, five years ago came the dream of starting a little commune for single moms. Finding housing, encouragement, and support can be a struggle when on your own. My situation is unique since I intentionally decided to parent alone. That intention doesn’t diminish the challenges but enables me to face them from a different perspective.

When it seemed completely impossible for me to be a mother, God made a way. My children, 2 sets of biological siblings, came to me miraculously. Since He’s opened the door there, I am confident that He has a plan that enables us to function joyfully as a family.

So…. I am currently packing our belongings into a shipping container and completing some minor renovations in our house in order to sell it. I don’t have a concrete plan. Some days I latch on to the idea of buying a duplex in a nearby city. We have a few friends who would be happy to share the space with us. Then I face the reality of bad neighbourhoods, bedbugs, etc. I dream of quiet spaces and being able to grow most of our own food. The city won’t offer that. So…..I am looking for land to build a unique home that will enable us to contain a small community of friends – single women with and without children. I want to create connections that will enable my family to thrive and offer the same to others in need. In a culture of increasing individualism and isolation, I want to rediscover the ancient practice of tribal living. I don’t expect it to be easy or seamless, but consider it a worthwhile pursuit.

While looking at single and multi-family homes, I am searching for land in a sea of impossibility. The area where I live has limited building opportunities. Most land is agricultural or conservation area. Owing to this, what is available is incredibly expensive. But maybe, just maybe, God will miraculously open this door. Whatever the outcome, we are getting ready to move.