Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. Like most holidays, in my opinion, it’s highly commercialized. Perhaps unintentionally, the message received by most singles is, “I am not enough”.
That’s not a thought I entertain in the everyday, so it wasn’t part of Valentine’s Day. I bought my daughters new shirts as I usually do.
The message on Athena’s top is dear to my heart. Love Wins! In so many ways that is the testimony of our family. We invited another single mom over for lunch. She asked to bring a friend – a single mom as well. My girls and I turned the lunch into a little party. I ordered cupcakes from a lady at church. I bought flowers. We decorated.
In years gone by, I’ve busied myself with lavishing love on others. Many times I made greeting cards and wrote heartfelt words to dear friends who were without significant others on Valentine’s Day. That made me feel better about being alone.
This year much too late, I remembered not everyone is comfortable being on their own – especially at Valentine’s. But I was out of time to do anything about that.
Since becoming a mom, that longing has slowly subsided. Someone would be lovely. But I’m not going to spend my time waiting. I have a life to life – a life of significance. That significance is not marked by having a ring on my finger or someone to fall asleep with.
This year, when I least expected it, I reaped the generosity I’d previously sown. Two friends stopped by unexpectedly with gifts. One brought chocolate and flowers – the very kind I’d bought to give to my lunch guests. The other made cinnamon buns and brought chocolates. The cinnamon buns – possibly her first attempt – weren’t spectacular, by her own admission. But that made me love them all the more. It was a mark of our friendship that she’d chosen to include me in the less than exceptional moments. I love being in community. For me that means being real. That my friend made the effort to bake me something and chose to share the imperfection of her creation speaks volumes to me. Those are the kind of relationships I want – sincere, honest, and an example of family at it’s best. I also got a lovely card and chocolates from one of my party guests.
Athena made me a flower arrangement at school. Raine, who is with me every waking moment, realized too late she had nothing for me. But in the midst of a few teary moments as emotions overtook her on Saturday, Raine told me repeatedly how much she loves me. “And love is all that matters,” she reminded me of the words I’ve often spoken.
My love is full of love. Being single, I am not living without. The truth is I am living a significant life full of love.