Thus far, most of my life has taken place prior to social media. I’ve never owned a camera. Even now, I only have one because it’s on my phone. Despite carrying it with me always, I often forget to capture what’s happening.

My youth and young adult life have passed without much to remember them by. I have dresses (most of which I made), some sentimental birthday cards, and a few tokens – like programs from plays. Some of my most profound relationships have passed with nothing to show for it. There’s no card, no scrap of paper, no photograph, no dress that I wore on a special night. There’s nothing. It may be this void that keeps me hanging onto the momentous I do have.

This past week I’ve been sorting through old memorabilia (reorganizing around my new business workspace). I’ve managed to condense the dresses down to one suitcase. My body was once much smaller. It may never be again. I don’t hold onto these garments with hopes of wearing them. They remain – some having moved with me nearly a dozen times – to remind me of the past.

In the drudgery of everyday life as a stay at home mom, those times catch my heart and make me smile. Not that my current life doesn’t afford moments of joy. It does. There are many moments and relationships worth remembering. Still, there’s something romantic about the past. In my youth, I failed to appreciate how carefree life really was. There was a yearning in my heart to get here – motherhood.

I’m here. And it’s glorious – sometimes. Most often it’s simply a great deal of work. Quite often I find myself singing along to the Stars…..”All I want is one more chance to be young and wild and free…..” What would you do with that chance? Instead of racing towards the next phase, I’d savour every moment of freedom.

suitcase full of memories

suitcase full of memories

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