Wonderfully unusual pretty much sums up my life. The unusual is pretty obvious. I intentionally pursued motherhood as a single Christian woman. A good portion of my friends are single Christian moms. Not one of them intended to be, it’s just how things turned out. Marriage has yet to come about in my life. Still I knew God called me to be a mother. So that’s what I became. Adoption burned on my heart since childhood, but first I became a foster mom. Then went through the process of adopting. My daughters came to me 3yrs ago as foster children. Now they’re mine forever. Everything about becoming a mom – foster/adoptive – has been unusual.
I began with a nearly 13yr old. Sabrina* had been in foster care since the age of 5. I wasn’t her first foster mom but I was her last. This past summer she turned 18 and is now forging her way as an adult. Starting off parenting a teen with fetal alcohol syndrome and intellectual limitations is unusual. And it certainly was a unique experience.
The adoption hasn’t been typical either. I had to fight to keep my little ones. Their social worker was sure they’d be better off with a married couple unable to have children of their own. In no way am I opposed to infertility being a factor in people deciding to adopt. Nor am I against couples adopting. I’m all for that. But after having my girls for 1 ½ years I knew they should stay with me. A formal hearing confirmed that was the best option.
That’s not how most foster care adoption stories go. Usually a social worker calls to say, “We have a child that might be for you.” Then you hear all about them, you make a decision, you see pictures, you fall in love, and meet. Then after a month or so of visiting you take your child home. With the arrival of a letter by courier it was decreed that I would get to parent Raine & Athena forever. Not what I was expecting when I started my adoption homestudy. For some reason I thought it would be somewhat typical.
Wonderful is where we’re at now. It was a rocky start with Raine. The adoption didn’t sit well with her. That and beginning school caused her to unravel to a certain extent. Homeschooling, cutting wheat out of her diet, and some herbal anxiety medication has gotten us back on track. She’s still somewhat tightly wound, but that’s just who she is. The place we find ourselves at now is by no means perfect. But I’d venture to say it is wonderful. Through an amazing turn of events, I’m able to be a stay at home mom. My kids are my primary focus – though I am working on another dream as well (www.believebistro.com).
So, to sum up our life: it’s wonderfully unusual. Hence the new title of my blog.
Thanks for stopping by. Come back tomorrow to find out why I shouldn’t blog and cook at the same time.