Four years ago, I knit Raine a hat for Easter. She’d arrived, a boisterous 3yr old, a few weeks

Easter 2011

before the holiday. I had a dress that I picked up from Target in the US months before I knew Raine. Sometimes I would do that – buy potentially useless items because the longing for a couple little ones wouldn’t leave me. In fact, at that point, I bought two dresses one a size 4 the other size 2. They were in a box in my room along with some other clothing someone had given me in those two sizes. Even with a generous monthly clothing allowance for the foster children in my care, I found myself preparing for what might be.

I pulled the size 4 dress out of the box and some shoes I’d bought ages ago for a friend’s foster child who spent most weekends with me. In the end that little one returned to her birth mother. And I kept the shoes in my growing stash of things for a girl between 2-4yrs.

Raine was mildly impressed with the hat I made. She wore it on Easter and many days afterwards. Over the years, the hat has become one of her prized possessions. Somehow, it’s grown with her. This Easter, being incredibly chilly, she grabbed it to wear to church on Good Friday.

It was deeply significant to Raine that, in addition to the dress I made and the necklace her sister made, she had the hat from her first Easter with me. Being who she is, Raine told nearly everyone she came into contact with.

Easter 2015

“Somehow the hat keeps growing with her,” I explained. It truly fit perfectly when I made it four years ago. And it fits perfectly now.

“She remembers and that makes it special,” said the church’s pre-school director, a former foster parent. He’s witnessed Raine’s growth from a defiant 3yr old into someone more at peace.

There are many days I fail as a parent. But these reminders of my love remain – growing with Raine.