A friend of mine is considering fostering. It’s a dream that’s been on her heart for a long time. As we discussed it in the presence of her son, his response made me think.
“I like a quiet house,” he gave as the reason he wasn’t fully on board.
“So do I,” was my response when I was done laughing.
As a quiet, contemplative person, I love a quiet house. It’s something I long for and work hard to get. Still, with two very loud children, it isn’t generally achieved.
Life as a foster mom is much louder than I ever imagined. I don’t really like that.
As my friend pointed out her son, it isn’t always what we want that’s important.
It’s a well known fact that I’m a foster/adoptive parent. My daughters are quick to explain to perfect strangers how they became mine. I’m continually surprised by the number of people who tell me, “I’ve always wanted to adopt,” or “I really feel like God’s calling me to foster.” My answer is always, “You should!” If it’s God calling, you definitely should.
In reality most of these people won’t adopt or foster. Most will choose the comfort of a quiet home, a predictable life, safe encounters where there’s little chance of heart break.
After encouraging people to pursue fostering/adopting most answer, “It would break my heart to have kids leave.” Yes, it really might. Even if it doesn’t – because sometimes kids going isn’t all that hard – you will be required to sacrifice. It may be a quiet home, a part of your heart, the lifestyle you enjoy, or any other number of luxuries.
I do like a quiet & tidy house. Without special/high needs kids I could have that. Instead I’ve chosen to dive deep into a world full of turmoil and pain. It isn’t always easy or fun. But, pushing against the concern for comfort that dominates our culture, I’ve decided to make the sacrifice. You could, too.