We are born to love certain souls into full being, unconditionally. Certain souls are born to love us the same way…We turn toward some, we turn away from others. Our choice – to walk toward or turn away from – becomes our destiny, our deeply personal love story.
Sarah Ban Breathnach
The story of how I got here is long and complicated. After being knocked out of the running several times, it fell into place quite naturally. And then I thought, “What have I gotten myself into?!” My dream was to foster babies. The lack of infant homes continues to shock me – who wouldn’t want a cute little baby? In the end I had a 12yr old with Fetal Alcohol Syndrome and significant learning disabilities. One month after Sabrina’s arrival, for her 13th birthday we went to the butterfly conservatory.It was supposed to be glorious. But we spent most of our visit outside in the adjacent gardens, after I forced Sabrina to remain in the conservatory for 20min (long enough to get some stunning pictures). Turns out she can’t manage crowds. The list of her disabilities is long. But Sabrina’s abilities continue to grow.
On birthdays (there have now been three), holidays, and in every day the story is about choosing to let go. I must let go of my expectations. The ideal celebrations I still find myself dreaming of fall in the face of reality. The fact is my kids are special needs – it’s not a field I would have chosen. But, the story of Sabrina is exceptional. We knew each other very well before she became my foster child. In working for the agency caring for her, I’ve entered a completely different world.
At some point I made a choice to love and it has become my destiny. Despite the obvious orchestration of God in the matter and His grace – which I do my best to access – I’m still shocked by this story. Even more shocking is the fact that it’s mine.